Scotoma
by ToQuenchAThirst
Summary: Sakura has just realized something in the inner most recesses of her mind. She wants to make a decision based on pure logic, because steering with her heart thus far has made a fool out of her or simple just cried out 'Sasuke-kun' She'll prove her feelings with action before she reveals her heart.Who could be worth it? kakashixsakura
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Naruto characters nor earn a profit from it. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I'm just a bored student who decided to play in his world. And his playground is full of fun toys, so can you blame me.

 **UnBeta'd**

(If anyone is interested to be my beta reader, shoot me a message. It's really hard to read my own work more than once. Oops. That probably doesn't inspire people to want to be my beta. My bad.)

 **Chapter 1**

It was never about sacrifice.

It was never about choosing one thing over another.

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 _Sakura's green orbs filled with sunlight and intense apprehension as she dove between her two teammates as they lunged at each other._

 _The eternal clock of time seemed to have got its gears stuck and winded to a slow, painful, screech that doused the world in gray._

 _Her feet which carried her felt like they were sliding backwards and that she was not making any headway at all._

 _There was panic in her heart. Her pink hair fluttered like a crow pitching off a pole._

 _Shock wore her limbs until they felt like the blood in her body had increased in density and pulled her toward the earth._

 _Her heart felt like an old timer that would not stop going off, the beeps throbbing in her head. She could not perceive her own voice screaming her two teammates to stop; her ears were full of the rush of blood through her veins._

 _Before she could even begin to worry about what would happen if she did manage to get in between them or what she could do, the ground under her feet ripped open and a large snake wrapped itself around her body._

 _It was cold as ice and threaded around her clothes as it made its way to her neck to squeeze the life out of her._

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Sakura launched out of her bed drenched in sweat. Her heart was hammering out of her chest. She placed a hand there and tried to will it to slow down.

"It's just a dream." She told herself. She got out of her small bed and went to the kitchen of her apartment to pour herself a glass of cold water.

She eagerly gulped it down, gasping as it hit her throat faster than she could control with her frantic hands.

Water spilled over the edges of her chin, and she could just hear her mother's voice lecturing her about the proper etiquette of a young kunoichi.

The thought made her laugh, which in turn caused her to choke up some of the water she had swallowed.

"Geez, Sakura. Get a hold of yourself. "She berated herself outloud; she could feel a fit of giggles brimming in her belly wanting to escape.

When the sky was painted black like that, with the moonlight peaking out she tended to get a little giddy.

She stood in solitude as natural light splashed her, amidst the creaking silence of her apartment, feeling that familiar light headedness.

It might have been more pronounced because of her dream. She was so determined to prove to herself that she wasn't affected by it that she wore her smile plastered over her face in a fashion that bordered on creepy.

Sakura sighed and leaned back on the kitchen counter. She didn't bother to switch on the light, she had natural light streaming in a pool at her feet.

The cold glass now empty of water rested in her lap, its cold surface jarring to her warmed hands and arms.

Sakura reflected on her dream. It had been a recreation—for the most part—of an incident that had occurred several years ago with her genin teammates, Naruto and Sasuke.

There was no need to analyze anything about it, she knew the distress and dread she felt that day. Her younger teenage self having experienced the sensation of having her heart squeezed painfully after it had dawned on to her that when one was feeling extremely content with life, is when it stirred up sending you hurtling down a tunnel of pain.

She was so young and idealistic back then. She had a dreamy romanticized view, and as a 13 year old girl who was stepping out into an unknown world with her comrades at her side—she could be allowed to be, for a brief while until she grew into good senses.

Her profession—however—would beg to differ. Shinobi existence didn't permit her such a period. It would thrust her into the harsh light, unbidden.

Sakura would never be those kunoichi who at a young age showed extreme genius, who preformed perfectly and were smart in the ways of the world.

She was a late bloomer. She had always been.

She could admit it to herself—and now she could simply admit it aloud, if the occasion called for it.

She hadn't wanted to be a ninja as much as she wanted to go out and see the world. Her parents were civilians and she could have chosen to be like them if she wanted.

But their lives were too boring in her childish eyes and she wanted more excitement. When she started to excel in her written Ninjutsu classes, this made her a unique gem in her family. Her parent's reaction to her top marks at the Academy served to spur her on.

Sakura could admit she liked being the 'wild card' in her family. Her path wasn't easily defined; it would have zigzags and deviations.

Sakura recalled one lazy afternoon when her 12 year old self was washing dishes with her mother. She had been prattling on about some technique in her Ninja concepts course she had mastered before everyone else in her class. Her mother listened with real fascination (but occasionally interjected with some nagging comment or other) Her family's interest and inexperience in Shinobi affairs made her more keen toward it.

Maybe she was vain and flit about, wanting people to pay more attention. She pronounced things in loud, haughty tones as she showed up the dumb boys in her class.

When Sakura thought back like this she could see that she had embarked on her road as a ninja with superficial desires in her heart, when it should have been a decision reached by careful pondering, weighing of the pros and cons.

Being an only child made her seek attention. There was a goofy blonde kid she decided early on that she couldn't stand—Naruto. And if truth be told, it was because she could relate to him—at least in very shallow way given that he was an orphan and she a spoiled only child—that she distanced herself from him at the academy.

Although she hid it well enough, some of the antics he got up to were amusing and she wished she could behave in such a way. But in the end she decided she was too refined—as her mother always instructed her to be-to ever be one to throw caution to the wind.

Though at times she lived vicariously through him. The prank with the eraser when they first met Kakashi-sensei was one incident in many jokes that Naruto concocted that filled her with glee.

But she always took the self-righteous tone and tried to line her sentiments with a certain raven-haired stoic boy genius.

Sakura's feet were cold. A shiver went through her. She felt a bit outside herself, thinking back on old times, having old feelings flood back.

All the times she was young and foolish rushed through her skull.

 _It's not as if I've really changed_. She thought deprecatingly. In actuality she had changed a lot. She was nineteen years old, and after the end of the Fourth Ninja War, she really had felt a change in herself.

Especially now that she was looking back on all the things she said and did. The person she was now would have thought very differently about all those actions, some might have been done over in the exact same way—after all, she couldn't essentially help who she was—but a great many would have been done in a more tactful, informed manner.

With her feet going numb from the cold of the kitchen floor, she stood upright and made her way to her bedroom, leaving the empty glass on the counter for morning to take care of.

Tomorrow at this time, she would be turning 20. That perhaps accounted for these errant thoughts of her girlhood.

Sakura climbed back into bed. A glance at the clock on her way told it her it was 2:45am.

She couldn't help but flashback to that time on the roof.

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Sakura's face glistened with tears. She felt like something extremely heavy weighed down her heart, and something else ran a sledgehammer though it. Her two good friends were trying to kill each other.

All the happy memories she experience with team 7 came brimming to the front of her mind. They were too painful to behold; the laughter of her teammates, her own beaming face as they journey from village to village carrying out missions, camping out under the stars and quibbling with their sensei's soft cool tones in the background.

She knew she was being childish, but she didn't want anything to change.

Her voice quivered. _Can't we go back. I want to go back to before. Please. Please._ She wished fervently as she let tears fall from her eyes.

"Kakashi sensei…" She began.

The smooth and rational Jonin had leapt from his position on top of the water tower and with great agility, landed in front of her.

Kakashi thrust his reassuring smile in her direction and spoke the words that she needed most in the world to here at that moment.

"It's all going to be okay. We'll get those two back to their normal selves in no time. Trust me."

It was like free floating in the sky with nothing to grab onto, and suddenly a sturdy rope was thrown in your direction.

She had been more than willing to catch hold of it.

Later, Kakashi had recanted his words, saying that he had told her an irresponsible thing. His logic was that he should never have let her hold hope in her heart for something that wasn't his place to guarantee.

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Haruno Sakura was 24 years old. If someone had asked her how she had imagined she would be at that age, it would be far from how she ended up.

As a child, 20 was the biggest number she could conjure up for an age, anything beyond that seemed extremely old.

Now she was 24, and she felt seventeen, and at times as young as 13. Why did people never tell you that even at that age you'd still feel like a child?

But she realized the truest thing she had learned in all her time then.

It was never a question of sacrificing.

It should never have been about choosing one thing over another.

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 **Review!**

 **I guess the boring rambling was supposed to be a character study of Sakura—if I had to classify it.**

 **This will be a short story-**

 **Why is it that I find it easy to write stories in which my favorite characters are not the center of it.**

 **Sigh.**

 **Problems of life.**

 **Sakura is easy and fun for me to write about. I guess that must mean I like her. I can write a story from start to finish starring her in one day.**

 **Weeird. I never knew I had so much to say about her. Maybe it's because her character is extremely simple.**

 **I'll let you guys take a guess at the pairing-*Hint* It's not SasuSaku**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the character of Sakura Haruno, or Hatake Kakashi, or any of the characters in the Naruverse; they are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I also make no money off my spiel. I do it cause I can. Deal with it.

 **Chapter 2**

"Do you think I'm fake?"

"Um...What do you mean Sakura-san?" Hinata asked with a surprised look.

They had bumped into one another after they both returned from their respective missions and decided, time and a pang in their stomachs warranting it, to go for lunch.

They pulled out of the shack after tucking their wallets back into the pouches that hung around their waist.

"I mean do you think I've been true to myself?"

"…I can't say I know you that well Sakura-san. But you seem to do what you want, if that's what you mean."

"I just have this idea that throughout all of this—just everything-I've had one identity or another, depending on who I was with, or what I was doing. I feel like I never really considered what I really want."

Sakura continued thoughtfully. "And I also never noticed, but my choices and actions revolved around Naruto and Sasuke. I would berate Naruto for acting up, just to get into Sasuke's good graces. And I would pretend to be extremely composed or scholarly when Kakashi-sensei or Iruka-sensei called me to answer a question or asked my opinion. I was always catering to what I thought people wanted to see. I was brainac with a large forehead, so I acted the way I thought would be appropriate. I had a crush on Sasuke from a young age, and so I fell in line with all the other girls who followed him around and wanted him to see them. And I was superior about a lot of things that I had no right to be. I cringe to think of them now."

Hinata looked a bit overwhelmed. She was trying to think of what part of Sakura's words to address. She wondered if Sakura had a disagreement with Sasuke-kun or Naruto-kun? "I think you're fine the way you are."

"That's because you're too nice, Hinata."

"Mm." Hinata shook her head softly. "I kinda get what you're saying. I don't think it's true though. Is there something bothering you? You seem a bit down."

Sakura waved her hand, laughing it off. "Oh no! I'm not really! I just thought I should seriously think about things from now on. I'm mouthing off to you because I feel like you'd be the last person to judge me."

"I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"Thanks. I feel like this is the perfect time to get my thoughts in order, things have finally settled down for the time being. And I'm a Jonin as well! I just don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending to be something I'm not."

Hinata gave a light frown. There wasn't anything that came to mind that she could say to ease Sakura's mind. She felt like there was a distinct problem that the girl was circling around. Hinata tried to identify what that could be. She simply nodded as she studied the pink haired girl's face. She would listen for now. The medic nin seemed like she needed an listening ear for now.

Sakura had her hands behind her back, as they strolled leisurely across the village.

The two didn't spend any real time together, but it was nice to work off this afternoon's lunch by taking an extended walk with no particular destination.

"I just want to been seen differently. I'm not going to be the same girl who rushes into making decisions. I want people to see that when I do make a choice, I've done it after careful thought. I want to prove that much."

Hinata looked lost at this point. She managed a weak sound of ascension to Sakura's words. She didn't know what the Kunoichi meant so she wasn't sure if she should be cheering her on.

Sakura winked. "Don't worry, you're not meant to understand."

They were silent for the rest of the walk, just enjoying the breeze and casually waving at the passerbys.

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"Um, Sakura what are you staring at?" Naruto peered at his female teammate, raising a curious eyebrow.

For the first time in quite a while, Team 7 was supposed to meet to discuss a potential mission.

Sasuke and Kakashi were on the other side of the field talking about something. Naruto and her were waiting patiently for a good 10 minutes.

"I'm looking at Sasuke." She answered. She was eating a cup of cold ice cream, the spoon still in her mouth as she answered. It was a really hot day.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. But why?" Naruto's voice was a bit more hushed. He might not seem like it but he made a good confidant. Naruto was very sensitive when it came to teammates feelings.

Sakura thought Naruto's line of questioning was weird. Was there ever a 'why' that was needed when it came to staring at Sasuke. The answer was pretty obvious.

But he no doubt sensed the lack of her usual euphoric cloud and blush tinged cheeks. Her voice was spoken clearly without any lingering on the raven-haired boy's name.

Naruto gave up when she didn't answer. He followed her line of vision.

Sasuke was standing to Kakashi-sensei's right, his dark hair fallen over his eyes. His svelte build accentuated in his Jonin attire. He had a long jacket under his button up Jonin vest that hung down to his knees, and gave the impression of a cape.

She had seen a picture of Fugaku Uchiha, Sasuke's father, to see that it resembled his outfit.

In fact, he looked very much like him. Sasuke didn't have the tired lines down his face that were characteristic of his father and elder brother.

And where Fugaku had brunette hair hanging down, Sasuke, whose obsidian locks were framed around his face like the Jinchuuriki, Utakata, looked like a pale, black haired version of Fugaku.

'Does Sasuke look different to you?" She posed the question to Naruto.

He smiled wistfully before he answered. His voice sounded aged when he spoke. Sakura kept expecting the childish screech of his voice, but she had to resign herself to his deeper tones. "Yeah. He does, he's working with the Leaf police. As sort of an intern position, I don't think he wants to work there forever. He told me last week that he wanted to experience it for a while. I think he just wanted to do something that would help connect him to his family, even if it's just for a short period."

Sakura felt put off. None of this was ever mentioned to her, but she nodded thoughtfully along with Naruto and pretended she knew. Because she was supposed to have known.

Although, Sakura did share Naruto's pleasure of seeing their teammate 'make something' of himself.

She cleared her throat before she spoke. "I just meant does he looks hotter than usual. Damn."

Naruto who was caught off guard by this line of conversation and who happening to still be looking at Sasuke, blushed with embarrassment. Sakura had never been that direct with her speech, outloud at least. Although, no doubt, many times in her head.

But It was the feeling with which she said it. As if it were that fact were an immutable law of nature.

Kakashi and Sasuke started to walk back in their direction.

"You guys are here early." The calm Jonin waved with a friendly smile. He easily tucked his other hand into his pocket.

"You know very well that we've been waiting on you guys for some time now."

"Ah, yes." Kakashi turned toward Sasuke, but addressed Naruto and Sakura. "When we get back from this mission—we are to report to Sasuke. The Konoha police want to be kept informed about this one. Sasuke won't be going with us."

Sakura spoke up. "So what were you guys talking about that we couldn't hear."

Sasuke who heard the challenge in her voice, actually looked up at her, albeit warily.

Kakashi who was a master at navigating a minefield answered without pause. "Just catching up, nothing you'd be interesting in. The both of you." He stressed the last part, making it obvious that it he was excluding both and not just one of them.

Naruto intervened. "Oh. You guys weren't discussing the case?"

"Nope. Just personal things." Kakashi answered simply.

"So what gives Sasuke, why can't you go with us on this mission?" Naruto asked.

"I considered it. But you guys don't really need me. I'll be put to greater use here." Sasuke said lifting his eyes slowly.

Sakura adjusted her gloves. "Well, alright. Do you have a plan in mind Sasuke, since your division is investigating this case, or are we allowed to wing it?"

"Pretty much do what you want within the perimeters of the mission. No more, no less." Sasuke was looking off to the side when he spoke to her, not so much looking in her direction as gazing somewhere between Naruto and Kakashi.

"Alright!" Sakura looked pleased. "What are we waiting for, let's go."

There was a lull of silence where they all seemed to exchange glances, before coming to the conclusion that they weren't waiting for anything, unless someone had a question about something.

Sakura headed off before any of them. Their destination was the gate, and she took off without looking back. Naruto followed with a grin and Kakashi paused to wave at Sasuke before he departed as well.

Sasuke who was left standing there, folded his arms. An errant black strand covering his other eye as well.

He was curious as to the way Sakura hardly seemed to linger around him. She hadn't tried to catch his gaze or initiate meaningless conversation with him. She seemed genuinely into the mission and had not attempted to flirt or keep herself in his company too long.

His brow furrowed before he took off in the direction of the leaf police force.

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"You'll have to run that past me one more time, Sasuke." Kakashi stated interested.

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to go on this mission, with Sakura going as well."

"And why is that?"

"Kakashi, I hope you won't play dumb. I don't want to encourage her more than being in her presence would. I'm just not interesting in pursuing anything right now. As you know, Sakura's of the opposite mind. I don't need the trouble right now. I have bigger things I have to focus on."

Kakashi gave a slow 'hmm.' "And you are sure you can't return—"

"No." Sasuke's reply was absolute.

"Alrighty then. I certainly have no right to tell you otherwise, you're free to make whatever choice you want. But Sakura is a great ninja, an exceptional medic—so I'm not going to exclude her from the mission. Since you requested not to be put on a team with her—you'll have to sit this one out."

Sasuke gazed leveled with his sensei, before he spoke. "I can live with that."

Kakashi gave a wondering 'hm' inside his head. As if amazed by the whole thing. Maybe he expected Sasuke to change his mind. The length he was willing to go…

"Okay. Then. After you." Kakashi said with resignation, gesturing with his hands, his poker face back on.

They headed toward the other members of team 7.

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 **Now what were your thoughts fellow readers? I'd like to know. Leave a review—short and sweet if you must. You can even say "Mate, get a life." That gives me some frame of reference to your thoughts of the story.**

 **Also, if you'd like to be my beta—let me know! I'm on the lookout for one!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Got it?! Good.**

 **Author's Note:** Never thought this pairing would make my skin crawl. *rubs forehead* Why am I writing this? I rather be writing something action-packed involving Madara or Hashirama or both. ~ sigh~ I guess taking myself out of my comfort zone is the theme for this month.

 **If you guys think I should change the pairing let me know! (which isn't going to happen) but let me know anyway.**

 **Vote in the review box!**

 **UnBeta'd**

 **Chapter 3**

"I'm interested in Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said almost matter-of-factly. Naruto who had been swinging to the tree next to her, lost his footing and went crashing down.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, what did you say?!" He'd pulled his head up from where he'd landed.

"I need your help, that's why I'm telling you."

"Woah, Hey you need to slow down, and I mean slooow waaay down." Naruto sat on a log next to where he'd fallen. Sakura landed next to him.

"No jokes okay? Cause I'm serious." Sakura looked mad already. She looked ready to punch him.

"Well, am I allowed to show my hurt pride-geez Sakura."

"Hurt pride? What on earth are you talking about Naruto?"

"Kakashi is an old man! You turned me down a hundred times, or did you forget!" Naruto looked like he was seriously put out.

"He's not old!" Sakura clenched her jaw. "Don't say that."

"Okay, whatever, he's old to me." Naruto continued insensitively. "He's loads older than you. Why on earth would you even say something like that. If this is your idea as a joke, you can stop now, you got me. Anymore and I'll be officially creeped out."

Sakura contemplated hitting him, her fists were clenched so hard, they were almost painful. She turned around and walked away instead. No amount of beating would change his opinion about the situation.

"Wait!Hey!" Naruto looked puzzled. "O-kay…so she's not…joking?" His entire expression changed. His azure eyes blinked slowly. "I thought she was in love with Sasuke?" He frowned.

He went after her, watching her cautiously as he caught up to her. He threw his hands up. "What about Sasuke?!"

Sakura kept walking, her strides were long and her muscled arms were swinging back and forth with force.

"Sakura." Narutp's voice was sincere. He grabbed her shoulders, halting her movements. "I'm sorry, I'm serious now. Now can you answer me? What about Sasuke?"

Sakura spoke after seeing Naruto actually trying to give it a chance. "Was I ever serious about Sasuke?"

Naruto looked shocked.

Sakura stared at him meaningfully, hammering in her words further. She didn't need to add anymore. Those six words told an entire story.

"O-of course you were?!"

"Oh, right. Like how you were serious about me?"

Naruto looked away. "I-was." But he wasn't convincing.

"Now that you understand, let go of me." She turned to walk away.

"Wait. Okay, I might be able to buy that you've moved on from Sasuke…" Naruto felt tempted to add 'after chasing him so long and calling his name all the time' but he realized he'd been the same with her, and in the end he hadn't chosen her. "But-Kakashi?! Come on!"

Sakura glared at Naruto. She removed his hands angrily from her shoulders. "I can't talk to you, if all you're going to do is mock me."

"Sakura—"

"No! Naruto, just leave me alone!" She pushed away from him and turned in the opposite direction. He could train alone today.

By the time Sakura made her way back to the least rural side of the village, she was so mad she was power walking to her apartment. She didn't realized there was someone ahead of her until she bumped right into them.

"Dang it. Sorry." She mumbled as she tried to go around them.

The person moved in her way again.

"Hey! What's the big ide-?!"

It was Sasuke.

 _Oh for the love of…._

"Sakura." His voice was a low rumble. "Where are you rushing off to in such a hurry. Do you have another mission."

Sakura bit her lip. She grounded her feet in place. She was so tempted to yell 'leave me alone' like she did with Naruto. But-this was Sasuke. She wasn't foolish enough to expect that much from herself to think she'd be able to manage that.

Sasuke was staring at her, waiting for a reply.

"I was meeting Naruto to train." She replied almost robotically. Man, she needed to work on this.

"Hm." Sasuke didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave, like he usually did. In fact, by this time he'd be making some excuse so he could get her out of his sight. "How was the mission?"

He was referring to the one which the abbreviated version of team 7 had returned from the day before yesterday. The one he was supposed to go, but apparently had other things to do.

"Hunh? Didn't Kakashi brief you on what happened?" Sakura asked. She remembered that Sasuke was working on the case closely so it was strange that he wouldn't have followed up.

Sasuke looked surprised. "No, he did. I was…just asking your opinion."

His last words were obscured by a gust of wind and Sakura's eyes widened in surprise to the guest who manifested in front of them.

Kakashi.

"Sorry to interrupt you love birds, but It's urgent—for Sasuke." Kakashi his playful tone indicating it wasn't a complete emergency.

Sakura's aura turned very dark. "Excuse me." She muttered. And turned on her heel.

Kakashi blinked.

Sasuke stared after her.

"Hmmm. Was it something I said?"

Sasuke didn't reply.

Kakashi suddenly seem to catch on about Sasuke's attention to Sakura.

Sasuke seemed to catch on to Kakashi catching on, and looked away.

Then they exchanged glances, Kakashi puzzled, Sasuke suddenly very annoyed.

"Uh…papers for you." The smooth Jonin offered.

Sasuke grabbed them and turned on his heel in the opposite direction of Sakura, without a word of thanks.

Kakashi was left scratching his head.

"I guess I'll go see what Naruto's up to."

 **A Few Weeks later**

Sakura gave a soft laugh. It was a strange thing to do when you confessed your love and someone shot down your heart, but because of the great hope in her heart—it was possible.

If you pulled apart wet green leaves and exposed them to sunlight, they would come close to the sheen that matched Sakura Haruno's eyes.

"That's why I like you so much, Kakashi. This might sound strange, but somehow I know you'll understand what I mean. If you had been someone who was capable of falling in love with me—as I was—I would never have been attracted to you in the first place."

"Is that right?" Kakashi settled back in his seat, he was perched at the edge of a wooden bench of a tea shack. Sakura sat next to him, there was an appropriate distance between them where a slender person could have sat and been comfortable.

"Yeah." Sakura had her legs crossed, and a hand holding her short pink hair back from the wind. She looked out at the clouds in the clear blue. "After all, no one wants a pervert for a sensei."

Kakashi held his sigh in. What a fine mess this was. His beloved student was confessing her feelings for him. How was it possible that he failed in every way possible as a Teacher?

The weather outside was so gorgeous, it held the kind of beauty that made you jealous that it had been, on a day when your heart was trampled on.

Sakura didn't have tears in her eyes. In the face of true love, she could be mature. Because with no doubt in her mind, she was really in love, in a way that wasn't superficial, in a way that dictated patience.

After all if something is true, it must be able to stand the test of time.

She knew that in a village like Konoha, a student-teacher relationship would be taboo. In a world where sensei and student had the closest bond, but never of that nature, it would have been a mockery of the precious bond of student and sensei to define it with fluttery feelings and empty longings.

Sakura knew that she had to create a path for herself where her feelings could be taken seriously, not seen as the ramblings of a silly teenage girl—even if she wasn't a teenager now.

Being twenty didn't mean you suddenly had the right to call yourself an adult. You were still on the training ground, preparing for adult life. Any decisions you made could still be interpreted as childish—because just yesterday you were nineteen.

The only way to beat people at their own game was to stand above them, not argue, and prove that you didn't define love like a minor, but that your heart was mature and making a decision out of that seed of maturity that your age planted in you.

Sakura would grow it and water it, day after day after day, until she finally proved to everyone—not so much to herself—because she knew already, but it couldn't hurt to show it to herself as well.

"I'm not going to give up."

"Sakura—" Kakashi turned to her. She looked up at him guardedly, prepared for any kind of discouragement he had planned, and ready to meet it with defiant eyes.

"Yes?" She asked cautiously.

"You are probably the best student I've ever had. And I'm not just saying that." Kakashi added quickly at her dubious look. "You first came to me, as—" Kakashi couldn't help himself from chuckling at whatever mental image he had. "The cutest little academy graduate I'd had in a while. I admit that I was distracted by Naruto and Sasuke, to really take notice of you. They were my priority; they were the ones I had to worry over. It was a fate that was settled on me that had nothing to do with you and set before I'd ever met you. You were the innocent bystander in a struggle that went back to the time of the settlement of our Village, when the Leaf was just a bud and nothing more than that. I might even call you misfortunate, but you weren't, not really."

By this time, Sakura was listening more seriously to Kakashi's words, and not ready to brush them away with a heated rebuttal in the works. She closed her mouth, let her hand drop and stared at a point where she could see Kakashi's face but look away beyond him at the same time.

"When you completed the Forest of Chakra before our knuckleheaded boys, I saw in you a spark that I knew would find a way no matter what adversity was put in its way. " Kakashi looked nostalgic but also very serious.

Sakura couldn't help but be touched by his words. After all, they seemed genuine.

Kakashi continued. "The name that your parents gave you was suddenly very appropriate. The cherry blossoms turns into regular leaves after its season ends, but no matter how harsh the weather by next term, they bloom again. And again, and again. It doesn't matter what the tree has been through, when its time comes, every time without fail…it will find a way. Because that's its nature. Sakura must always find a way so that people can enjoy its beauty—benefit from it-it has a duty to live up to. It must bloom not only for its own sake, but for the sake of others. I really do beliv…"

Kakashi stopped talking because Sakura had an odd look on her face. After trying to hold it for a few more seconds she lost the battle.

Sakura clutched her side and started laughing. "I'm sorry—God—haha—I'm so sorry. I don't mean to laugh…" Sakura pulled herself together, wiping away the tears leaking from her eyes from her fit. "It's just I never thought I'd hear you go on so long using a wonky metaphor comparing me to Sakura trees. It's so cliché and also kind of cutesy. I know I've ruined your serious point…okay..you can go on."

Kakashi looked like he wasn't so inclined anymore.

This made Sakura laugh even harder. After a while she straightened up. "Okay so you're saying, that you've realized I'm resilient and I've managed to survive even after constantly being eclipsed by Naruto and Sasuke. Mm hmm..go on." Her tone was teasing but also sincere.

"Ahem." Kakashi cleared his throat, wondering if this whole thing might just be an elaborate joke. He shook his head and went on. "As I was saying. Well—let's boil it down to this—your purpose in becoming who you are now, an outstanding medic, wasn't so I could see you. It wasn't all for me. You did it for yourself, and for the people who will benefit from your treatments."

Sakura tapped her boot against the wooden peg under her. "I think you misunderstood me, Kakashi."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to imply that I achieved everything just for love—um—okay so I did kinda work hard so Sasuke would notice me—but when I said 'This is the person I am, and I'm that person because of you, so I want to give myself to you.' I didn't mean that exactly, not in a literal way. I meant, now that I am this person, I want to choose to be with someone who appreciates me, or put another way someone I believe would be worthy…um…of me." Sakura couldn't help but get slightly embarrassed at her own words. She coughed it off and tried to play off the nice flush in her cheeks as heat from the hot sun that shone down on them.

Kakashi was silent. The masked Jonin seemed to be looking ahead, cool, composed, not in any rush to speak.

 _Sheesh you can be exasperating..but…that's what I love._ Sakura's eyes twinkled. It was at that moment that Kakashi turned his eye in her direction.

She gulped. _He can't possible read my mind can he?_ Sakura tried her hardest not to avert her gaze. She wished she could stop the sweat droplet from running down her cheeks, she wasn't willing to give this battle up to Kakashi one iota.

He broke his gaze. He slowly stood up, as if he was stretching and slipped his hands into his pocket.

Sakura was put off. She stood up as well, hands clenched at her sides. She knew for a fact that she didn't look like a kid. He couldn't play that card, and she wasn't a kid, just _younger_. She was tall, nearly his height, and she was 'beautiful-okay ' _attractive_ ', long legged and could punch like any man worth his salt, but didn't resemble a freakin Amazon. She also had brains, and wasn't the cold hearted killer that most passably attractive kunoichi were these days. It should have been a win situation.

"Kakashi! I!" Sakura protested, her eyes shining hard. The fire in them wasn't ready to be doused so quickly. Her voice almost came out as a squeak because dammit she wasn't unaffected by his presence as any hot blooded female would be. But this didn't equate to weakness, afterall Shikamaru's dad always said that in matters like this, even men became mush, why should she be held as an exception? Her being flustered shouldn't equate to her being a child, or not being serious.

"I've very proud of you. I'm sorry that Sasuke can't see you as well as I can. But, that's his loss. Okay?" Kakashi faced her smiling amiable.

"Yeah—well—then that's what I mean. I mean, um, you see me. And well I..." Sakura berated herself. Where was her steely concentration? Her cool persona? She could make someone feel like they were missing out any day. She could. Why did she sound right now like preschooler who was caught sneaking back to go through the teachers candy drawer during recess. Last month she had overseen an interrogation conducted by Ibiki, but held her stomach so she knew she was made of tougher material then to falter in the instance she needed not to. She'd presented to a large group of officials, worked tirelessly as a medic for patients who counted on her.

Where was that Sakura now? Oh yeah, when it really meant something to her, she couldn't summon that person.

Kakashi's keen eye watched her as her own were averted trying to find her words. He could pick-up on the effort she was making. He could read what she was trying to say more than she could explain.

"Hey." He said.

"Mm." Sakura managed, at least meeting his eyes.

"I also meant earlier-that I don't intend to take the prettiest flower to keep just for myself. I don't deserve it. It would be wrong of me to try."

"But that's not—"

"Listen kid—"

He had her full attention now. Those simple words were so painful.

"You're my beloved student. Don't push how far you can take this cuteness." He rumpled her hair. "Come on, we need to head back."

He was walking away.

The wind that was blowing through Sakura was the coldest one yet.

It was the kind of cold that would sear the leaves from any tree, flowering or not.

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 **Review, if you wish. *Plays it cool*  
**


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